|Fulfillment@Work: BOUNDARIES AT WORK
May 11, 2004
Welcome to the Fulfillment@Work Newsletter
Published by Joel Garfinkle, Dream Job Coaching
Message from Joel
Will you pass the word? Many people will gain great insight and inspiration from this article on "Boundaries at work".
1. 10 Ways to Set Boundaries @ Work
2. FREE content for you...
3. Website LINK EXCHANGE program!
4. Coaching Client - Words Of Wisdom
Boundaries at Work
Constant demands and requests from coworkers, colleagues, friends and families can leave you drained and frustrated. It's not an easy thing to say 'no' to someone or something. Change your perspective - you're saying 'yes' to you and to your priorities and needs. You're not saying 'no' to a person, but to their request. Boundaries protect your comfort zone. Remember that boundaries are not negotiable. You must communicate that gently, yet firmly, to others. When you set boundaries for yourself and respect the boundaries of others, you are actually building stronger relationships. Find out how to set and maintain boundaries and gain time, energy and respect for yourself and others.
Top 10 Ways To Set Boundaries
1. List people who drain your energy.
Even if you like them, they take your time without your permission.
2. Identify which boundaries you need to set.
Try to understand if you have trouble setting boundaries with specific people or specific situations. For example, you may be able to set a boundary with coworkers, but not clients.
3. You have a right to set boundaries.
Many people mistakenly believe that setting boundaries upsets other people. While others may not get what they want in the short run, you will garner more respect from them and for yourself by standing up for your needs.
4. Make a short affirmation to describe your new boundary.
An example would be, "I get to decide how to spend my time." Or "My time is valuable and irreplaceable." Use whatever words are most powerful for you. This step is a crutch you can use to remind you that setting boundaries is the right thing to do.
5. Rehearse away from work.
Talk to yourself in the mirror, write in your journal, tape record yourself or find a trusted friend to role-play with. This is new behavior. The more you practice it, the better you will become.
6. Offer options to the other person.
Look for a win-win situation by taking control. For example, "I know that you would like to speak with me. Right now, I need to finish this task. Can I call you later or would tomorrow be better?"
7. Communicate without anger.
Be clear and respectful. Use language that you feel comfortable with. Keep in mind that you are saying 'no' to an unreasonable request, not a person as an individual.
Before you respond, breathe deeply. Remember, you are saying 'yes' to you and your time.
9. Think ahead and prepare.
List common situations that could use a boundary. If it comes up, you will have a pattern of action you can use at your fingertips. You won't even have to think about the best way to handle it; you'll know.
10. Check all your life's boundaries.
See if you need to set boundaries with family and loved ones. They can be a wonderful part of a full life, but they too can cause a drain on our energy, time and vitality. Look at how you can set boundaries in all areas of your life so that you are able to truly create the life you desire.
Want more help and support with setting boundaries? Contact me at (510) 339-3201 or firstname.lastname@example.org and find out how he can help you to set and maintain professional and personal boundaries and reclaim your energy.
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~ Joel Garfinkle
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Quotes of the week
"Every human being is intended to have a character of his own. To be what no others are and to do what no other can do."
~ William Ellery Channing
"Some things have to be believed to be seen."
~ Ralph Hodgson
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Nationally published articles that you can FREELY use as content for your websites, newsletters, and publications.
Coaching Client - Words Of Wisdom
That I am making great strides and progress in seriously addressing the negative emotional framework that has beset my career efforts over the past four years, focusing on specific exercises that allow me to identify and dissipate difficult emotions that have precluded my abilities to be a whole and optimally happy person.
~ Coaching Client
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